From A Daughter's Heart

“There are only four kinds of people in this world... those who have been caregivers, those who currently are caregivers, those who will be caregivers, those who will need caregivers.”                             

~ Rosalynn Carter, 1997

Do you ever wonder if sometimes the world just doesn’t get it? 

If you are involved in the care of elderly loved one, chances are you have likely had that experience, as you struggle day to day in helping them.  This site was created because of my experience dealing with the same predicament. I, like you, am presently involved in the care of my elderly mother, who now resides in a skilled nursing facility near my home.  In this blog, I hope to share many situations that I have faced with her, and likely will continue to. I also hope to join you as we share with each other and create an amazing online community, learning from the Professional Experts and Content within.

In the process of caring for my mom, I have been completely transformed as a person. I cannot explain exactly how, or why, but I do believe that we, as family caregivers, share an extremely profound connection.

Five years ago, I had a demanding career as an executive of a publishing company.  Even as I saw my own parents declining in health as they aged, and even after my father passed away in 2002, there was always another priority for me. My work, my relationships, and my other responsibilities prevented me from paying as much attention as I should have. When that fateful phone call came, telling me that my mom was in the hospital with a broken pelvis, I knew I would ultimately have to take charge of her care. I was unprepared for what was in front of me. Each step felt like a crisis, and all I could do was respond as best I could.

As I researched the issue, it became clear that this pattern is the norm for families across America.  After all, Mom and Dad's finances, and their healthcare, and all their other decisions, were their business, not mine.  Now that these things have become my responsibility, I struggle to allow as much independence as possible, while still stepping in when I must.

Every day dealing with an elderly parent can bring forward a new challenge.  We as family caregivers spend our days seeking out resources that can be extremely hard to find.  Have you ever looked for a good ol’ fashioned hair salon that will give Mom a shampoo and set?  What about a restaurant to plan a family celebration that has a senior menu, or one that will provide flexibility in their menu to accommodate Dad’s heart-healthy diet?  I always wished I knew the inside scoop so I don’t have to continuously run a major reconnaissance mission to find the right business or resource at the right time.

A familiar theme has emerged in caring for my mom: Had I known what to prepare for before each challenge came before me, it would have made my life a whole lot easier.  The challenges included moving her four times, dealing with her finances, legal issues, and health care. I had to deal with family drama and tension, my own job loss and financial setbacks, and probably the most profound challenge — feeling so alone in the world while dealing with it all. 

So, I ask you-

What is the greatest challenges you face in your journey?

What resources are you seeking? 

How can we help?