Memories of Dad are so strong

Selling the family home can be a traumatic experience for many adult children.

Rachel found that out first-hand when she began the arduous task of cleaning up the family home after her father entered an assisted living facility due to poor health.

"I found boxes of family photos, my old homework assignments from 5th Grade and even love letters between my parents," Rachel remembers. "It was an emotionally draining experience and I didn't realize until a few days later that I had slipped into a state of depression."

Rachel's experience is not unique. We all need time to grieve in the midst of major change and loss. While we may not always think of it this way, that loss can include selling the family home. It often signifies the death of one or both parents, a major upheaval in our emotional lives and a loss of a sense of security.

Experts say that it is important in this situation that adult children let themselves grieve for their loss and adjust to the change. Take the time to work through the emotions involved with the memories that invariably come flooding back when clearing out a residence that may have been the family base for decades. 

Unfortunately, conflict among family members about the dividing up of possessions is another issue that all-too-often arises when preparing the family home for sale. To help avoid this difficult problem, sit down with your parents in advance and, if possible, prepare a document that describes their wishes as to whom should receive which family items. If that isn't possible, then try to gather the adult children together and discuss the issue calmly. Try to be sensitive to everyone's emotional needs and come to a consensus over how the family items should be divided up.

While this process may be emotionally difficult, it can also be a chance for the children to find closure and avoid bad feelings between family members that may linger for many years.

As for the home, itself, the following is a list of hints, thoughts and ideas for sprucing up, cleaning out, decorating, and staging the residence. Remember that creating a great first impression and making a house appealing to buyers can make all the difference in the real estate process. You want to prepare the property in such a way that it is easy for prospective buyers to see themselves in the home. That means no family pictures or knick knacks allowed.

Be prepared when you begin this process, however. Getting your parent’s home ready to be placed on the market is often an arduous and time-consuming process. But it is essential to work through the issues and get the project completed. Some painful work now will allow the house to sell faster later. More time sprucing will also help you get the best deal. That is money you will probably need in the future.

Here is my list of pointers to help you in your project: 

• Disassociate yourself from your home. Say to yourself, “This is not my home; it is a house…a product to be sold much like a box of cereal on the grocery shelf.
• Make the mental decision to “let go” of your emotions. Focus on fact that this house no longer houses your loved ones.
• Picture yourself handing over the keys to excited new owners
• Don’t look backwards…look toward the future.

• De-Personalize: Pack–up all those personal photographs and family heirlooms. Buyers can’t see past personal artifacts and you don’t want them distracted. You want Buyers to think “I can see myself living here”

• De-Clutter! People and even our parents collect an amazing of junk. Consider this: If you don’t need it, why not donate it or throw it away? Remove all books from the bookcases. Pack up the knickknacks. Clean off everything from kitchen counters.

• Rent a storage unit. To speed the process of getting the house ready consider moving everything you can’t part with to a storage unit. Family members can then sort from there.

• Make minor repairs. Fix leaky faucets; patch holes in wall; replace burned out bulbs; paint walls neutral and remove wallpaper.

• Make the House Sparkle! Wash windows inside and out; pressure wash sidewalks and exterior; clean-out cobwebs; re-caulk tubs; showers, & sinks; replace worn rugs; polish chrome and mirrors; clean and air-out any musty smelling areas. Odors are a no-no.

• Check your “Curb Appeal.” Keep the sidewalks cleared; mow the lawn; paint faded window trim; plant yellow flowers or group flower pots together. Remember: Yellow evokes a buying emotion. Trim your bushes; and make sure visitors can clearly read your house number.