Choosing our battles: When Mom and Dad Resist Exercising
How far should we really push it, when Mom & Dad resist exercising?
I know for me, it’s hard to have the patience to walk with an elderly person. I am usually busy with things on my mind. They often times move so much slower, and take an even longer time to prepare for a walk. My patience can be tested, as I wait for every small but deliberate step, and watch the time tick away for an elderly person to just go a few yards. For my mom, after she had a major fall, she was terrified of walking again, and what I learned was that it is a common problem for those who have had a broken hip or pelvis, to fear falling again.
I have had Mom lash out at me because I have pushed her into exercising. She has been angry with me, with friends, with caregivers and with therapists. She has insisted she doesn’t want to walk or exercise, and thus, this has been a huge struggle between us. In addition, I have been unpopular when I have suggested that she undergo physical therapy, and occupational therapy to gain her strength. This is one of those times that you may get some flack back from your parents as they stretch instead for the comfort of a nap, the TV, or an easy chair with a book and start to let go of their physical faculties.
So where do we begin?
Many seniors feel discouraged by fitness barriers, such as chronic health conditions or concerns about injury or falls. Many also may feel arthritic or joint pain. Or maybe an ongoing health problem or disability is keeping them from even considering it, but no matter what, the key to their healthy living depends on exercise.
Don’t take “No” for an Answer!
The truth is, this is the time for us- as their children to put up with the resistance and yes, insist that they exercise. Truth is- Exercise can help you help them. It can keep their circulation going and their heart stronger. And not only is exercise good for your body—it’s good for their mind, mood, and memory.
No matter Mom and Dad’s age or current physical condition, they will benefit from exercise. There are creative ways to help them not only exercise, but to also enjoy it!
I found the below from an article I read from www.helpguide.org that I believe is critical in what we need to know:
5 Myths about Exercise and Older Adults
Myth 1: There’s no point to exercising. I’m going to get old anyway.
Fact: Exercise and strength training helps you look and feel younger and stay active longer. Regular physical activity lowers your risk for a variety of conditions, including Alzheimer’s and dementia, heart disease, diabetes, colon cancer, high blood pressure, and obesity.
Myth 2: Elderly people shouldn’t exercise. They should save their strength and rest.
Fact: Research shows that a sedentary lifestyle is unhealthy for the elderly. Period. Inactivity often causes seniors to lose the ability to do things on their own and can lead to more hospitalizations, doctor visits, and use of medicines for illnesses.
Myth 3: Exercise puts me at risk of falling down.
Fact: Regular exercise, by building strength and stamina, prevents loss of bone mass and improves balance, actually reducing your risk of falling.
Myth 4: It’s too late. I’m already too old, to start exercising
Fact: You’re never too old to exercise! If you’ve never exercised before, or it’s been a while, start with light walking and other gentle activities.
Myth 5: I’m disabled. I can’t exercise sitting down.
Fact: Chair-bound people face special challenges but can lift light weights, stretch, and do chair aerobics to increase range of motion, improve muscle tone, and promote cardiovascular health.
Start Slow and Make it Fun.
First of all, get clearance from their doctor. Second, hydrate, hydrate, hydrate! Make sure they consume plenty of water before and after exercising! Once you have that, then ease into it. If your parents’ don’t exercise, find ways to do little things, and build up in small increments. I remember with my mom, we had her only go ten feet with her walker to start, only to meet her at the end with a chair to sit in. Each day we increased it a bit longer, and it wasn’t long before she was walking the long hallways in the retirement community where she lived.
When Mom was difficult I would first share with her how much it means to me to have her be with me. This will be important in keeping her with me longer. “Mom, if you won’t do it for yourself, will you at least do it for ME?” It is amazing how often times people will do more for others, than they ever will do for themselves.
For those of you who still have your parent’s fairly active, combining light exercise with a visit with you is ideal. There are great activities that you can enjoy with them, whether it is bird watching in the park, a garden tour, or taking photos on a nature hike. You can also park a bit away from a restaurant. Take them shopping, or out to an art museum. Find things to keep their mind active while walking.
When Our Parents’ Health and Abilities Start to Fail
Now my mother is bound to a wheelchair. Her walking days are over. Because she is so helpless it is my instinct to want to do everything for her. Yet, I have learned from the therapists that it is important to let her do things still on her own. Let her push her own wheelchair. Let her wheel herself to the bathroom, and furthermore, make sure that she has plenty of things to do to keep her active. Doing chair exercises are extremely helpful as well. Hand weights, resistance bands and breathing exercises make all the difference.
In many types of fitness centers, they can provide materials and education on recommended fitness programs for older adults. Check out resources at your local senior center, community pool, fitness or adult daycare centers. Most of these types of communities have exercise programs especially for seniors.